Julikova in Moscow

Hi people, I'm alive...

You can't imagine how much stuff has happened since I last wrote. First of all... I had a beautiful summer:) A "Bob Marley" kind of summer, a "gangster movie" kind of summer...maybe a mixture of these two with a heavy touch of romance...

I came to my village in the beginning of July I think. All of my friends joined me pretty soon, but before that I had a week alone with my longtime friend. That's when the movie started. I haven't had so much fun in a while. I didn't think about a thing while I was with him that week. I felt as if I was 10, free of all the human responsibilities. We dealt with drug dealers and their girlfriends, we were chased by mad women that wanted him to explain to them why he sleeps with them and then dumps them, we watched the sun go down and rise, we danced in the forest under the rain, we saw the aliens attack our planet. I laughed for 7 days.

He also forgot about everything - about his job, his friends, his family, about all the girls that were chasing him. We became best friends for that week and when Thursday came, suddenly I felt really sad. My friend Ira was coming on Friday, and I realized that our idyll (if that's the right word) was going to end.

She came and that day all of us were invited to a birthday party in a nearby village. A lot of booze, a lot of people... and me - very very jealous, not getting even a half of the attention as I got used to getting from him. He was all over the place as my head was beginning to get more and more blurry from the amounts that I drank. I understood that it was crazy and stupid and childish to even have thoughts like that. I felt like they took away my toy... and my toy was feeling quite fine and drunk.

Somebody from my village asked Sasha (that was the name of the drunken bastard) to take him back home. I also got in the car answering the surprised question in his eyes "No, I'm not going home, I'll just keep you company". But when we got to our village I got out of the car without saying a word and went towards the place I call "home". He followed me in his car asking a thousand and one question and I felt so sick that I couldn't answer a single one of them. Moreover I didn't even know the answer to those questions. "What's wrong with me?" I had no clue. So finally I pulled myself together turned around to face him and after all the stress I put him through not answering a single one of his questions I said: "Hey...don't yell at me... I thought the party was over..." He called me "Pyanaya dura" and pulled me back in the car. I don't remember how I got home that night cause what he said was true - I was really drunk and I felt really stupid.

But I also realized that something had changed in a way I used to feel for him. He was no longer "a friend" he was something more... And that really made me angry. I never expected such a turn. I didn't see it coming. And I had no idea what to do and how to act. I had no idea about what he felt. I decided to apologize for my behavior. I told him that all the jealousy came from the bubbles in my head and that I'll make sure nothing like that happens again.

The next few weeks went by in an atmosphere of "something's up in the air but I'm not the one who'll start talking about it". I guess both of us were afraid to spoil the relationship we had for over 6 years...

But one night I got an sms from him saying " Call me a chicken, but I can't ask you this straight to the face...Do you feel that something's up...between us?" I said "Yes"...We've been together for three months already and things are getting pretty serious...

I study at the RUDN right now. Getting my second degree in Public Relations. Pina also goes to that University but she's headed in a bit different direction. I found a job not a long time ago. Well.. actually this is my second day. I like it so far though it has nothing to do with anything I wanted to do. But they pay well and my dream is to move away from my parents as soon as possible so I have no other choice. Besides I have my own computer here so I can keep in touch with you whenever I want.

Now I want to know how you all been doing. I didn't get anything if you sent me something during summer cause they froze my email account. Now you can also reach me at julikova@gmail.com - that one will never freeze, at least Alex says so :)