Every minute we’re losing it. The guys think “Why do I have to waste all my money and time on her when both of us pretty much know where it’s gonna end… Why don’t we get straight on to that?” Of course a lot of you will argue with me but basically it is like that and not only from the side of the guy but from the side of the girl too.
The art of relationships is pretty much like business. Both of you could be good looking and smart and funny and she might be hesitant about who to choose, but suddenly you’re competitor says or does something you’ve never thought of and – she’s his. And you might not understand what happened and it was that thing we call romanticism.
Every girl wants it. She needs attention, flowers, words and kisses. The more you give it to her – 1.the more you spoil her 2. The more you tie her to yourself. The biggest mistake people make is they think that romanticism is about money –WRONG. You can give her a huge bunch of flowers from the best designer in the city and then with a bored face say “Ok, can I have my blow-job now?” No need to say that the evening will be spoiled for both of you. And of course there are opposite examples when you say the right words at the right moments and then you’ll be shocked because suddenly and unexpectedly – she kisses you. Why? Because you didn’t talk about your dick – that’s why!:)
After Alex dumped me I started getting some attention. And for me everything is very silly right now because I get to choose and the thought of starting everything from the scratch scares me a little. So there was this guy who was following me for a while and finally I decided to give him a chance. We started seeing each other pretty often but I already knew that nothing is possible between us, but still I didn’t want to be alone, so I was waiting for a miracle. One night he decided to tell me about the way he felt for me. I was standing there watching him in a way that a normal person would be watching a play. The things he was telling me – I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t because for him it was serious. Things like “I think it’s better that we’d be together, of course I don’t think we’d last long, I don’t give it more than a month, but I think you’d be a great fool if you lose such an opportunity”… Now what was I supposed to say to that? I said “I’ll think about it” and then burst out laughing when I finally got into my house.
A couple of days latter we were sitting in the dorms – Him, his two friends, Masha and I. We were talking about all sorts of stuff and he was behaving as if I was his property. Suddenly one of his friends, while all of us were talking about something else, asks me – “What’s your favorite flower?” I glanced at him as if I saw him for the first time, I don’t think I’ve ever noticed this friend of his. But the most frightening thing was that I don’t think anyone has ever asked me about it before. Moreover he said –“Don’t tell me, I’ll try to guess.” Then everybody joined in guessing what Masha’s and my favorite flowers were. “Lily” – he says at one point. “No, but close, it does grow in the forest”. Then the guy who thought I belonged to him goes “What the hell are you all doing, what is this all about this guessing game – just tell em for Christ sake!” And I did – “Lily of the valley”. The one who asked the question goes “Damn, I was so close”, the guy who was holding me says “They don’t grow in the forest – babushka’s sell them in the metro for 10 rubles!” and then laughs as a donkey. For some reason he was very surprised when found out that I’m with his friend now and he still questions me about why it happened like that…
Ok I know who it was – the English man! Steve you shouldn’t have let me done it! (I mean the phone number):) You should’ve said I was with you:(
Last Thurstay Steve Noah and I were playing pool at BH and some Englishman (I forget his name) asked me to play a game with him. And I did. After that he was asking me whether Steve was my boyfriend or not and i said "no" and gave him my phone number thinking that I can "block" him later, whatever that meant.
He's been calling me for 2 days, I answered only his first message. I told him I was going away for the weekend so I won't be able to have dinner with him. Suddenly 20$ appears on my phone from out of nowhere. A message follows " I appear to have just put twenty dollars onto your phone instead of mine by mistake! Hope you don't mind! Call me when youget back to Moscow." Mistake! Very funny...
So the problem is as follows - he's a friend of Doug&Marties yeah imagine that... If not for that fact I would never talk to him again, but a connection like that could be usefull... Damn, I dunno what to do - you know me - I'm not used to using people!:)
Will somebody please tell me who put the money on my phone?! Who am I to thank???
For me - one of the most important things in a relationship. By a single kiss I can tell practically everything about a person. Unfortunately nowadays it's pretty hard to find a good kisser. Why am I talking about this? I really don't know but it occurred to me a little while ago and I talked with Masha about it today and now I've just decided to share my thoughts and see what you guys think about it.
One of the biggest mistakes men make is too much accent on the tongue. Really what is this about "the further I stick it in - the better." No no no. You guys are choking us that way! Everything depends on where the kiss takes place, how long people know each other, how they feel for each other of course, and how passionate they are at the moment... I might've missed something.
You can always tell whether a person is sure of himself or not and what his motives are by the way he uses his tongue :) And this might sound weird but the more he uses it especially if you hardly know the person it could mean only two things: 1. Inexperienced 2. He wants you only for one night and doesn't want to leave a bad impression. You can do something about point 1, point 2 is hopeless.
But the most important thing in this beautiful action is not "How" you do it - it's what you are thinking about at the moment. Very easy to read peoples minds. If he's using all sorts of twists and turns and jumps and what not - that's what he's thinking about at the moment - the techniques (wrong word?). Hard to understand where I'm getting at. Just here's my advice - when you kiss somebody - don't think about anything or better, think about the person you're kissing and then everything will be ok:)
Pina doesn't have a cell phone anymore:( Today she came in class carrying it in two fingers, through it in the corner, looked at me and said "You don't wanna know where it's been". Poor Pina :)
Have you ever caught yourself on talking to yourself? Last time it happened to me I think it’s been like …hmmm… 2 years ago maybe… or maybe I’m lying. The depressing fact is that it happened again today. I wonder why it happens…
I don’t wanna do anything. One of those times when you just wanna fuck everything and run… as fast as you can away from it all. One of those times when you think that nobody would care and nobody will remember. That time when you think that everything you do is useless and there is no purpose in doing it. The time when you need to disappear but you don’t have a magic wand.
We saw the Mystic river today… It didn’t seem very optimistic if I can say so… I think it’s been a very depressing day… week… month… But I’m still smiling.
We hate em but we can’t do without em:) Tomorrow is the Motherland Defender Day, which is basically a holiday of all men – even those who have nothing to do with it. But they like attention - you know – all those little presents and cards and smiles and stuff – it makes em very happy. They get drunk and brag about how cool they are. And this is actually the only day in the year when we can toast to them… God, I do think only about alcohol don’t I?…:)
That reminds me. Imagine Friday morning after Boarhouse, me going to the University, hung over – of course, I come to the store and ask them for Aquafresh with no gas:)
(If you didn’t get it – read again)
So what can I say about men – ha ha ha, I think a lot of people can guess already what I think of them. But unfortunately nothing could be changed and we need to cope with this dreadful fact. But I love these special creatures can’t do anything about it with myself, each time there’s still a lot to discover, a lot to laugh about and a lot to get disappointed in. The search for the one who is “not like the rest” continues and I believe in finding him, as we say here – hope dies last. But now I’ve decided to play by their rules and suddenly life became much easier… “Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place…”
The sun came out in the sky of Moscow and today was a happy day. So here’s to our men – strong, powerful, who think they know everything, caring, well mannered, attentive, tender, our defenders, our supporters, our pride. “How wonderful life is – now you’re in the world…” We love ya guys :)
Just got back from the airport and boy, I tell ya, it was one hell of a vacation! I don’t think I've ever had such a great time.
Looks like God has his own ways of dealing with people and whenever he makes something bad and you haven’t deserved it — there will always be something good that will heal your wounds... That was Sharm for me. When we got there I understood we were in Heaven.
I don't even know with what to start and what story to tell — the whole trip has left an unforgettable impression and my views on life have changed thanks to some great people I've met; and surely the memories will be in my heart till the next time which will be in a year. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The Red Sea takes over your soul. When you're sitting on the edge of the yacht you have a desire to hug the whole sea plus the sun and the mountains. When you're under the water you forget that you're human and for a while you can actually feel that you're a part of something great and mysterious, something that a "normal" person would never notice...
One night I was sitting in this beautiful place on a mountain having my beer, the sun had come down already but the light of the moon made the night quite bright. The breeze from the sea tickling your face and the sound of the waves as if it's trying to tell you something. That night I was told a story of the whale shark. A giant beast but absolutely harmless. If I'm not mistaken could be seen in some 60m under water. The diver, a wise intelligent Egyptian who spend a lot of years abroad but still came back to dive in Sharm... but that's a different story, told us that he looked back under water to find his friends facing him and behind them he saw a great body, as he says — it was like a train, a huge long train and nobody could stop it. For me it was something incredible to sit and talk with somebody who saw the whale shark. Especially after I tried diving myself. Oh yes, that day I will definitely remember till the rest of my life.
We spent the whole day on the yacht stopping at beautiful places to do some snorkeling or to dive. For me to go under water with all the equipment was a very big step. As I'm afraid of heights, one can imagine what's going on with my heart when I look down to the bottom from the surface of the sea. You understand that you can't fall down but the illusion of that happening does not want to leave you. Taking that dive made me overcome myself and my fears once again and proved to me that I'm another step closer to being that strong person of what I've always wanted to be.
Every day was a great day there. Every day made me understand how beautiful life is. I fell in love. I fell in love with Sharm — passionately and desperately. Every breath I took, every time I've touched the sea — I knew that it was real and that it's beautiful.
Sharm gave me Freedom... it set my soul free and taught me not to be afraid of it. It opened my eyes and made me forget about all the dark stripes we have and taught me to notice the white ones. To be happy with every day that I live and to learn a lesson from all the bad that's happening instead of allowing it to pull you down to the bottom. "I won't go down with this ship..."
Well and one last thing for those curious who were asking us if we got laid every night or not — hi Iverson ;) — I can tell you that the men there are as hot as you can't even imagine and that their romantic ways make you feel like you're the Queen of the Universe.
Where does that word combination come from... I guess it appeared somewhere in the beginning of the 90 when we had a TV show that was called like that. Clowns were running around there talking these silly sounds... At the same time as you all might know our government was having some problems and more and more often Muscovites could see the riot squad on the streets and in the buildings for this or that reason. Finally when we became used to it, an event which involved the squad got to be called a “Maski-show”.
Thursday night, ladies night... Boarhouse... DJ Stanely up there spinning his CD’s and singing the songs instead of the singers... Me — drinking away my life in 4th... maybe 5th IQ bottle, talking with Timochka who told me that JBJ was here in 1989... I always thought he was here before that...anyways... new group getting wasted (second night at Boarhose — we all remember how it was.. well, maybe not). Some dude falling asleep next to me, drinking Iverson’s beer (that’s where it was!), Masha being nice and friendly as usual, asking me how I was doing every now and then... Well, you know — the usual thing. 11 o’clock — time to go home if I don’t wanna get smacked on the head by the time that I get there.
7 is my lucky number. For some reason the last couple of days I always got coat numbers with a 7. This time it was 77... boy, am I lucky... Got my coat, all packed for the -15C outside... Masha and I get on the front porch and... wow.
I just stood there amazed by the beauty of the scene. Something you can see only in those big budget cool movies. I’d compare it with Braveheart — the battle scene, Masha compares it with Lord of the Rings 3 (which I never saw). Anyways, about 20 people were standing on the porch — all tall guys so I had to hop a little to see what was going on, I thought the fight had already started, but what we saw was something I never expected seeing... They appeared from the corner of the building like a “lake of ants” as I call it. About 40 people, well at least that’s what I saw, till Masha grabbed me and pulled me in the Boarhouse. The bouncers slammed the door shut behind us and we heard bodies slamming against the door... The music was out and in a couple of minutes the Maski-show began.
They didn’t let anyone out for a little, then they started checking documents and letting people out. The main question was “Are you Russian? Where did you come from?” Outside there was much less people than we saw. Most of them were standing facing the wall and some were beat up. I don’t think anybody from the group had any problems. Correct me if I’m wrong.
In the morning the first thing I heard when I woke up was that there was another explosion in the metro... Not far from the place we drank last night. They were expecting it... But they didn’t warn anybody...
Sometimes in the summer you can see the sky so blue and pretty, the sun will be shining in your face and you might .. just might think that life is a wonderful thing...
Sometimes when you’re sitting in a boring lecture in class trying not to fall asleep, your classmates send you a message to go outside with them and have a smoke, and you might.. just might think that things are not that bad..
Sometimes when you’re watching an interesting movie you might.. just might think that you’re a part of it..
Movies.. yeah I guess that makes sense. That game when you try to predict the end... Why do I always win?..
Why why why why why... A short but powerfull word.. In Russian it’s longer but that doesn’t make it easier to answer, does it?...
I have a lot to say but as I understand – whatever we say in this life – it’s useless – words words words – so simple so simple sooo simple... too simple..
Here’s the thing dudes – go to a doctor and ask him to cut your heart out and life might.. just might be beautiful..
See ya around
P.S. This is my last post, my editor fired me.. I guess I’m just no good.. as a writer.